How a very special Mommy/Finny trip came to be
NYC school goes back late – like late late. However, all camps/activities end 2.5 weeks before back-to-school. That is a lot of time to fill! Neither Albert nor I could take 2+ consecutive weeks off work, so we had to structure it where he took the first week off, I took the second, and my parents came up to get us over the finish line for the last two days.
Once I took the vacation days, I wanted to actually…take vacation. Plus, since Finn doesn’t do sports or anything, we spend our weekends exploring the city a LOT. By the time this week rolled around, he’d have been-there-done-that in nyc. Considering I could use points for the flight, this would not end up being tooo much more expensive than a week filled with activities and day trips to keep him entertained, and definitely cheaper than a domestic vacay. In Paris, it’s all exciting because it’s all new. A croissant may cost the same, but there are new things to look at while he’s eating it. Finn is also old enough to explore places and appreciate them. He is so incredibly lucky to be able to have an experience like this, and I am extraordinarily lucky to be in a position to provide it.
Would I have preferred to do this trip as a family? Duh. But it’s just not something we could accommodate right now with our work schedules. Do I wish I could experience France – a very special place to me – with my husband who has never been? Absolutely. Perhaps that’s in our future once Finn is old enough for sleepaway camp.
I will say, traveling with just the two of us is easier in some ways. Unlike in the US, French hotel rooms are tiny and not designed for families. It’s tougher to find a room with two double beds (especially one that’s “cute” and in a desirable area), so you’ve either got to get two rooms or spend significantly more for a suite if all three of us were going. With just me and V, we can share a large bed (or the two twin beds you often find). Bedtime is also easier because I’m happy to sit in the bathroom with my iPad/book, a glass of wine, and a face mask while he falls asleep. With two parents, one hotel room, and a kid who should be going to sleep before the adults, navigating bedtime is tougher and usually means someone is sitting in a bar downstairs by themselves. And then both parents are sitting quietly in the dark starting at 9pm to avoid waking him up, which feels a little awkward. (Note: I know Airbnb is an option, I just love how special a hotel can feel. That said, if we go as a family (or when Finn is older and can’t share a bed), we may have to concede that Airbnb is the best choice.)
Also, I love when we’re hanging as our perfect little family of three, but I have to admit that sometimes things run smoother when it’s 1:1. (I know Albert would say the same – in fact, he was the first to admit it.) Finn isn’t able to play us against each other and when there’s only one parent, what that parent says usually goes with [miraculously] little pushback from Finn. When it’s just me and V, it’s tiring, but you just go go go – you don’t have time to realize that you’re exhausted. Eating at a restaurant is easier because it’s just me and him talking to each other, so he’s entertained the whole time vs. trying to vie for attention when Albert and I attempt to have an adult conversation. Again, would I like to do this as a family? Yea; I’m just saying there are some silver linings.
Sighhhh It’s no secret that Finn is obsessed with Albert. He has been the favorite parent since day one – it’s not a phase. It’s nice for me to carve out some of our own memories – something that’s special and magical and just for us.
So why Paris?
- I love France and it’s been way too long since I had been (2005)
- Since we were traveling alone, I wanted to avoid any place with a language barrier. It’s not like one of us could distract/entertain Finn while the other referenced a translation app. True, major European cities all speak English everywhere, but it’s still not the primary language and why add another hurdle? I am fluent in French so Paris isn’t so difficult to navigate. (I felt validated when we ran into an issue before our plane even left JFK and they tried to split us up. With the English-speaking flight attendants focused on boarding the plane and travelers anxious for us to get seated, I was able to resolve the situation myself amongst the only-French-speaking passengers.)
- Paris has a plethora of playgrounds. And they are epic. They’ve got zip lines, carousels, obstacle courses, trampolines, and sometimes there are even pony rides. It is an extremely kid-friendly city.
- Finn loves Disney, and it is crazy accessible from Paris. It’s way easier to get him there than Florida.
- Because I’ve been before, I knew I wouldn’t feel like I was missing out on some of the big cultural moments. I’ve been to Notre Dame and seen the Mona Lisa. I recognized it would likely be too much to push Finn through museums, but he wouldn’t care about seeing old paintings and since I’ve been, I wouldn’t have fomo.
- My funny Finny loves to chill at a cafe and eat cheese. (ME TOO.) That’s Paris in a nutshell.
- His favorite activity is going on rides. Paris is packed with carousels, boat rides, and multiple amusement parks.
Organizing Our Time:
With five nights, we could cover a lot of ground…but I still didn’t want to push him too hard. That meant it was a lot of planned no-plans (aka leisure time). At the end of the day, know your kid. I have friends whose children need other kids to play with, others who like to craft, and some who just want to watch tv. My kid loves rides and snacks so I pretty much planned the whole trip around making sure he was almost always doing one of those two things. With that in mind, I basically picked one or two tentpole activities per day:
- The Musts:
- Eiffel Tower Picnic (preferably getting the stuff at the grand epicerie): Finn ended up wanting to do the picnic but after seeing if from afar, didn’t care to go to the Eiffel Tower. This is a perfect example of hearing your kid and listening. We pivoted slightly and did our picnic in a park he thought was prettier (and closer).
- Jardin d’acclimatation: This is an amusement park right in the middle of the city – kinda like how it still blows my mind that there’s a whole zoo in Central Park.
- Montmartre Walking Tour: I found an incredible expat who specializes in Paris for kids
- Disney: This was hands-down Finn’s favorite part of the trip
- Jardins de Luxembourg: There’s a playground, sailboat pond, and a puppet show
- Boat Ride on the Seine: It’s a great way to see the gorgeous architecture and cross the monuments off your list. Catching a breeze and resting your legs is also nice.
- The Rain (or Heat Wave) Plan: Just in case things go slightly awry
- There were a few things I knew we’d enjoy, but there was only so much we could squeeze in. On Monday afternoon, we would do one of three activities: cité des enfants, philharmonie des enfants, or Jardin des plantes. In the event we needed to activate a rain plan, we could just do whichever of those options we didn’t do on Monday.
- I read about a very cool art exhibit at the Grand Palais where Leandro Erlich turns architecture upside down with interactive optical illusions. Definitely a fun option and art that a 4-year-old would still enjoy.
- The Skips:
- Marché aux Puces: this is the one thing I’ve never done but reeeally want to. Sadly, Finn doesn’t have the attention span or interest. Next time. (I did plan to pop into antique stores randomly along our travels to satisfy that craving.)
- Art Museums: Why force it and spend money and time waiting in lines when he’ll zoom through without really appreciating it? He enjoys the Met here in nyc, but we’re members so we can go as often as we like and he can do it in snackable visits. There’s too much skin in the game at foreign museums where time is at a premium.
- Restaurant Reservations: If it’s local, it’s good. And traditional French food is ideal for kids: roast chicken, steak, yogurt, frites, croissants, cheese – these are Finn’s favorite things. This was not the trip to try and snag a hard-to-get table. Popping into a local brasserie is easy and exactly what we would want to eat.
- The Back Pocket: I had a list of spots that don’t require planning. If we found ourselves nearby and bored, they’d be perfect for a pop-in.
- Place des Vosges — one of the prettiest squares in Paris (close to hotel). Good for a snack break or running out energy.
- The Île Saint-Louis — a good (slightly quieter) place to wander near the Seine. Good ice cream shops.
- Carousels! Find them near the Eiffel Tower, at the Tuileries, by the Hôtel de Ville, and in Montmartre.
- I had a list of some stores I’d like to check out. I wouldn’t go out of our way, and I wasn’t foolish enough to think Finn would let me take the time I’d need to try on clothes, but if we happened to walk past a handbag designer I’ve been following or a cute housewares shop where I could grab a souvenir, great.
Tips and Tricks:
- I did all the research myself, but I needed some assistance plotting things out. I knew the things I wanted to do, but don’t have a solid grasp on how the city is organized or the scale, so I had no clue how long it would take to get from one arrondissement to another or how to order the activities. Enter: ChatGPT. I’m not typically an AI fan, but once I figured out what I wanted to do, it helped me structure things in the most efficient way.
- The Inputs:
- Arrival and departure times
- Where we were staying
- The travelers: I made sure to say that it would be me and my 4.5 year old son who lives in nyc and is therefore very comfortable walking and taking the metro
- The activities: I gave a very long list of all the things I was interested in, with asterisks by all the high priority things and any timing constraints (the puppet show at the Jardins de Luxembourg is Wednesday only, for example)
- The metro: Once ChatGPT flighted everything out based on my musts (see above) and some other “nice to have”s that I provided, it offered to provide optimized metro routes. Yes, please.
- The Inputs:
- Choose your neighborhood and hotel wisely:
- We stayed in the marais because it’s packed with cute shops and restaurants and near several of the stops on our agenda.
- We needed easy access to food and parks. We don’t mind traveling for the day’s big activity, but when a 4-year-old needs to eat or run out some energy, he needs to be able to do so immediately.
- Choose a spot with breakfast: I anticipated we would grab breakfast from nearby cafés…but I also know my kid often eats two breakfasts a day. If there’s stuff at the hotel, I can get a little something in his belly before he has the chance to get cranky. I also had a feeling it would be the best way to ensure he’d get fresh fruit daily…and he can tear through some fruit.
- A gym doesn’t matter. Normally, I prioritize an amenity like a fitness center, but there was no way I could leave Finn alone while I popped down to the gym. I didn’t even bring workout clothes. This is the main disadvantage to traveling as a solo parent. Oh well. Instead, I focused on choosing a boutique hotel that actually made me feel comfortable and relaxed. When I’m traveling with my husband or the gals, we’re staying out late, hitting up the bars – the hotel is just a place to crash. On a trip with just me and my 4-year-old, we’re coming back earlier and a homey feel becomes more important.
- Scoot: my upstairs neighbor is from Paris and frequently returns with kids in tow so I asked her for suggestions but also to feel out if French kids used scooters. Here in nyc, the ability to scoot to the subway can make a half mile walk significantly faster (while curbing “my legs are too tired” complaints). Razor scooters fold up and can easily go in the overhead bin.
- Bring your bag of tricks: Just like in nyc, I had a feeling I’d want to lug around my tote with games and crayons for restaurants, snacks to stave off hanger, a water bottle, and even a bathing suit/change of undies should we encounter a splash pad at one of the many playgrounds.
- Scrapbook plan: having an overarching plan to document the trip kept Finn engaged. If he started to get whiny, I could say “oh let’s find the next item on your scavenger hunt!” It offered a distraction and gave him some autonomy.
- Save small mementos (postcard from iconic spots, cafe napkin, puppet show ticket, etc.) to incorporate into a photo album later. Nobody treasures garbage like a toddler so he was thrilled to pick out scraps of paper.
- Pick a pose in advance so the album can be a photo journey with him making the same silly face at each major stop
- Tell him we can turn the whole trip into a scavenger hunt and save all captures into a photo album in my phone to easily incorporate into the scrapbook. (Find 5 gargoyles, spot 10 dogs, count green Metro signs, find three merry-go-rounds, etc.)
- Get yourself an Orange eSIM – easy and cheap internet access while we were out and about was HUGE.
